Nine of the Funniest Brooklyn Nine-Nine Cold Opens

Brooklyn Nine-Nine was officially concluded less than a year ago, but the show inevitably remains in the hearts of many. Loved and appreciated by fans and critics, the show touched on both lighthearted and serious topics through interesting plots and witty dialogue. The cold open is one part of the show that gets the audience laughing even before the episode’s main storyline begins. 

This narrative technique prepares the viewers for the episode, and they’re ample proof that everyone working on the show is creative and comedic geniuses. Some of these cold opens are so iconic that you’ve probably seen them around your social media feed, even if you might not have seen the show. Among the cold opens of the eight seasons of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, here are nine of the funniest ones from the show, in no particular order. 

No Pants Holt (Season 2, Episode 12, “Beach House”)

Jake sees Gina walk out of then-Captain Holt’s office, and he deduces that it’s probably because the captain has no pants on. He explains the situation to Amy and Terry and presents the facts: Holt walks in with hot soup, says “ouch,” calls Gina into his office, and Gina leaves with an opaque bag he believes carries Holt’s pants. 

He tries different ways to get the captain to leave to prove he’s right, but he fails repeatedly. Finally, as he brings a bowl of soup inside the office himself for a final attempt, Holt confirms his suspicions, and Jake’s celebration causes him to drop the soup on himself. It ends with Holt and Jake sitting behind the desk to hide their pantless legs. 

Punishment for Tardiness (Season 6, Episode 13, “The Bimbo”)

In one meeting, Jake arrives late again. Holt says that no matter how hard he tried over the years, he can’t get Jake to understand the significance of punctuality. Jake suggests that Holt just accepts him for who he is, but the latter comes up with something that will “break” Jake. While he absolutely hates it, Holt devises a personal high five with everyone in the office besides Jake. He recognizes each handshake and suffers on his seat as he watches the squad leave the room, and just when he thought things were over, Holt does a personal high five with the xerox guy too. 

It’s already funny to see the usually emotionless captain do something so out of character. Still, the funniest part about the entire thing is how he stares at Jake when he executes the handshake with each squad member. 

Charles “Bagged” An Old Woman (Season 1, Episode 5, “The Vulture”)

In this cold open, Jake, Amy, Rosa, and Scully talk about the oldest people they’ve arrested. Jake begins by saying he arrested an 81-year-old drug dealer. Amy then shares that she arrested a 96-year-old for flashing, Rosa tells hers, and Scully (attempts) to join in by sharing his. 

Charles then walks in, completely misunderstanding the conversation topic, and proudly shares that his “oldest bag” is 68. When the others react that it’s not that old, Charles says he was just 20 at that time. Rosa then realizes that he thinks they’re talking about the oldest person they’ve been intimate with, and as the team laughs and is weirded out, Charles explains how they met. 

It’s a favorite cold open of many fans and even Melissa Fumero, who plays Amy. She explained that Andy Samberg’s laugh, while they were shooting, was genuine. 

Doug Judy’s Wedding Invitation (Season 7, Episode 8, “The Takeback”)

Before Jake could eat his bagel, Rosa calls Jake to follow her to the interrogation room as she’s sure it’s something Jake would want to see. She explains that the man in the room is the suspect of multiple breaking and entering cases, but what’s vital for Jake is what Rosa finds in his car: a wedding invitation from Doug Judy. 

An angry Jake storms into the interrogation room and begins the interrogation. Only he and Rosa interrogate the wedding invite and why Jake wasn’t invited in the first place. After having an intense bad-cop, good-cop interrogation about the matter, Jake asks for the wedding website password, which the man reveals to him. 

Too Much Cold Brew (Season 6, Episode 7, “The Honeypot”)

This opening begins with Jake telling Holt and Rosa that he’s getting another cup of cold brew from Charles’ new coffee machine. They discuss how good the coffee tastes and how many cups of coffee they’ve had so far. Boyle then comes running to them, only he does so in slow motion, and tells them that they’ve been drinking too much. 

The three are surprised and wonder why Boyle is talking slowly, only for Boyle to reveal that he (and everyone else in the office) are at average speed. Then, the camera cuts back to the trio speaking really fast and saying that they feel fine until the open ends with them alternately saying “YUP YUP YUP” quickly. 

Suspects Perform “I Want It That Way” (Season 5, Episode 17, “DFW”)

Arguably the most iconic cold opens in the show, Jake is in charge of a police lineup. The witness tells him that she didn’t see the suspect’s face but heard the suspect singing Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way.” Jake then asks each suspect to sing one line from the song. By the time they get to the chorus, Jake gets lost in the moment and sings the familiar line “Tell me why,” while the suspects passionately sing along as well. 

If that’s not enough to get you laughing, the witness says she recognizes the voice and that it’s the last suspect who murdered her brother. Only then does Jake remember what the police lineup was for. 

Holt Eats a Marshmallow (Season 4, Episode 7, “Mr. Santiago”)

Ever wondered how someone seemingly uptight and expressionless as Holt would react to eating a marshmallow? Jake wonders the same thing. He gathers the squad and challenges them to who could best make an impression of the captain by acting out how he would react to eating a marshmallow for the first time. 

They each take turns, with Charles acting out of character with a high-pitched voice and animated expressions. When Jake questions this, Charles says he can “hear him doing that.” As Jake makes his impression, Holt walks in and tries a marshmallow. To everyone’s (except Charles’s) surprise, he reacts precisely the way Charles thought he would. 

Holt’s Secret Dance Skills (Season 3, Episode 11, “Hostage Situation”)

Jake, Charles, and Holt are walking to work when a street dancer accidentally knocks Holt’s coffee from his hand. Holt tells the performer to be careful, but the latter shows an act of defiance, creating tension. When Jake tells everyone to stay calm, the performer continues by asking if he would be arrested for dancing. Much to Jake and Charles’ surprise, Holt asks, “You call that dancing?” He removes his hat and continues with “This is dancing” before engaging in a dance-off to diffuse the situation. 

Jake tries to record the dance-off but finds that his phone is out of battery. Charles then offers his phone, but he accidentally drops it because his hands are “covered in butter from making butter.” However, before they start recording, Holt announces that the situation has been diffused. 

Jake Pranks Holt (Season 6, Episode 17, “Sicko”)

Before a meeting begins, Jake informs everybody that he will play a prank on Holt by putting ink on the podium where he puts his hands. Jeffords says he doesn’t think he’ll fall for it, while Rosa expresses that Holt would hate it as he hates pranks. Jake then “tones it down” by creating an alternative prank: moving the podium by a half inch. Jake thinks it’s stupid, but Holt’s reaction surprises him and everyone since he laughs out loud and yells, “HOW DID YOU PULL THIS OFF?”

Jake’s idea is not even half as elaborate as a hot pepper prank, so seeing Holt’s reaction to the entire thing is unexpected yet hilarious. But even before that, Amy’s disbelief that Jake would pull such an “extreme” prank and Boyle’s excited expression would already have you giggling. 

Have a good laugh

Brooklyn Nine-Nine really had its way of making the audience laugh loudly even before the central part of each episode began. So if any of these descriptions caught your attention, you should definitely check out the cold open videos for a good laugh, or better yet, watch or rewatch the entire episode.

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