We often do not understand why we face challenges or difficult situations. When things don’t go according to our desires or wishes, we may become upset and disappointed. We may constantly why this happens. However, it is difficult to draw conclusions simply from rumination. Self-blame, under these circumstances, is common. Dark Joseph Ravine, founder of online business, Kindness for Success, believes that when we put things into perspective, we won’t resort to self-blame when we are faced with difficult challenges.
Ravine relates from his own experiences. He says, “We often think we are the recipients of bad fortune. We never realize our part in the equation. We are responsible for our own reactions. We can choose our own conclusions from our experiences. Most times, however, in the heat of the moment, we lose sight of the fact that we are in control. We take on a victim mentality, believe circumstances to be out of our control, and therefore, we are justified in our self-blame or disappointment. This is simply not true. While we can’t control what happens to us, we can certainly control what we do with it. Do we learn and grow from the experience? Or do we fall into a dark vortex of negative feelings?” Ravine believes that we have the power to choose self-kindness and positivity. By doing so, we bring upon ourselves better outcomes in each instance.
Ravine remembers a specific experience from his childhood days that taught him a great lesson. He says, “When I was younger, I used to blame myself any time something went wrong. Somehow, I believed that I had caused things to happen the way they did. Only later did I realize how little control I really had over certain circumstances. We like to think we can control what happens to us, but when it is a situation that doesn’t involve a personal choice, we can’t. I soon realized I had the power to change the way I think. I began to make conscious choices to make peace with what occurred and cease blaming myself. There was nothing I could have done to make things better. I can only control the here and the now by thinking positively.” Ravine resolved from that point to put all his effort into changing his thought processes. He hopes to inspire others to tap into their own reservoirs of positive energy which lurk beneath the surface. Ravine believes that increasing our levels of happiness give us greater chances at living a better life. And kindness is key including self-kindness.